"Dad, are you happy?"
“Dad, are you happy?”
This is a question I would expect from any one of my
daughters. They have grown in a
household where we aren’t afraid to ask each other questions if we sense the
need to go there.
But I was taken aback when it was my 2-year-old son, Caleb.
“What did you say, buddy?” I responded just to make sure I
heard him correctly.
“Are you happy, Daddy?”
Yep, that’s what I thought he said. I was stoking the wood stove when his
question flew across the living room and landed in my ears. I wasn’t unhappy, but I was distracted and
somewhat preoccupied.
“Yeah buddy, I’m happy?” I said to answer his probing
inquiry.
“Me happy, too, Dad.”
He bounded off like Tigger and left me sitting there
wondering what he saw in me that made him ask me that. What was my face saying? What was my spirit emitting that made him
stop dead in his tracks to pull me out of my trance? I still don’t know exactly.
I do wonder sometimes what kids notice that we don’t think
they do. What they pick up on that we
think we alone are privy to. I shutter
at the thought.
A moment later he stumbled over and draped himself over my
lap. He gasped out these words as his
lungs were stretched over my knees…
“Dad, I a good boy?”
“Yep, buddy, you’re a good boy.”
He threw his arms around my neck and gave me a hug repeating
my answer as if to speak encouragement into his own heart…
“I a good boy.”
All these feelings, moods, words, touches, non-verbals,
voice inflections…all these combine to communicate a powerful narrative to our
children, answering questions we rarely consider they’re actually asking. The answers they receive to these spoken and
unspoken questions at the earliest of ages write the prologue of their storied
lives. If we aren’t careful, we will
show up late into their story before we realize how many chapters have already
been written without our consciousness.
May I wake up to what is already happening that I’m
mistakenly waiting for.
Comments