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Wednesday, July 20, 2005



I can't get over how much community with other kindred hearts cuts the core me. In friendship I taste God.
Lesser Joy

Writing to be read
Singing to be heard
Talking to be heeded
Living to be needed
Laughing to be refreshing
Dancing to be watched
Smiling to be inviting
Listening to be wanted
Running to be victorious
Leading to be followed
Thinking to be respected
Risking to be inspiring
Crying to be moving
Joking to be funny
Studying to be smart
Practicing to be accomplished
Whistling to be in tune
Walking to be somewhere
Sighing to be pitied
Questioning to be answered
Trying to be successful
Wondering to be mysterious
Planning to be all set
Knowing to be convincing
Praying to be spiritual
Reading to be versed
Painting to be perfect
Giving to be noticed
Going to be supportive
Waiting to be wise
Preaching to be influential
Counseling to be remarkable
Investing to be remembered
Flying to be higher
Digging to be deeper
Racing to be further
Loving to be loved

It seems to me that everything has glorious value until it is traded for a response. Living for a response, reaction or result is soul killing. The soul will reclaim its original joy when it is freed to live without pretense and resumes the glory of simply being itself.You can’t try to be…you can only be.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Alive to tell about it...

The week of recording has come and gone. I've never had something fly by so slow. Some moments were draining me, others driving me. It was an experience I will never tire of remembering. We laid down 5 songs in five days, which to some may seem like nothing, to others, miraculous. It was amazing to see and hear things come together as the week went on. I'm very pleased with what we were able to accomplish with the time, resources and finances at our disposal. I'm eagerly awaiting the mixed and mastered copy to hit my hands.

The five songs I decided to do are as follows:
-You are More
-Pursue Me
-Psalm 29
-Awesome Love
-Free Indeed

I think that will be the order of the EP as well. Those of you that know these songs will be pleased to finally hear them accompanied by more than an acoustic guitar recorded with a cheezy PA church sound system. I've been waiting for years to hear the music in my head put on an album for all to hear. I think this album will come pretty close to representing the original sounds in my soul. I've yet to know for sure...but from what I've tasted...I'm quite confident it will.

On the way home last week, we had two songs put on a cd as is roughly mixed. It was fun to listen to them in the car with my wife and daughters and sing our brains out together as a family. I wondered at that point how many families get the privilege of doing such things. I'm sure it's rare, indeed.

I'm not levitating as I was this last week, my feet have hit the ground and I'm coming off my "mount of transfiguration" experience. I'm eager to plug back in with the hearts of people. Studio's don't compare to Heart's.

Monday, July 18, 2005

I'm off to see the wizard...

I will write a bit later as to the events of my week of recording, but today, I'm off to see the wizard of ministry in the culture we find ourselves in. His name is Rob Bell, pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, MI. This oughta be good.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

PEOPLE

People, Jason, People. God loves people.

People

Amid the chaos of travel, projects, weddings, music, recording, and deadlines, people are what matter most. Remember this, Jason. Never forget this. never.

people

With the whirlwind of activity and dreams and travel and projects...people are what matter most in this life. Never forget this, Jason. never.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

the dread of the dream

Well, it's only 5 shorts days away and I'll be heading off to Columbus to record my first studio project. Lord knows that I've been dreaming about this for longer than I can remember. It's funny how fearful you can be when your dreams finally come true. The closer it gets to leaving and laying things down in the studio, the more afraid I am to do it. Before, you could do a stupid little mix in your garage or church youth room and tell someone, "Yeah, here's the music, but it really is better than this." Now I'll hand someone the album and say, "This is the best I can do." and leave them to decide for themselves whether it turns their crank. Funny how it's almost easier to let your dreams stay inside to nurture and protect than to invite them out for a watching world to evaluate and critique. I felt less nervous putting together junky recordings and handing them to people so long as in my mind I could hold onto the hope that the music was always better than the recording rendered it. This opportunity next week leaves no room for that kind of disclaimer. And I don't think I like that.

I wonder if anyone else has dreams that stay inside for fear that if they were pursued, it wouldn't feel as good as telling yourself how great they are hypothetically speaking. Theorizing and Fantisizing is more pleasant than risking the exposure of a fraudulant dream. I feel like a piece of my world could come crashing down around me next week. Part of me wants to leave the dream be, concealed within, reduced only to talk and maybe's and someday's. But, alas, the luxery of talking about the dream is over...now I'm left to live it. I hope this experience is everything I'd dreamed it would be. If it isn't, I will probably be more depressed than ever before in my life. (granted, I won't look like it. I will say things like, "It was just great to finally get a chance to record in a studio." or "This must not have been God's will like I thought it was in my head." or "Maybe all those times I thought I was hearing his voice I was just talking to myself." or "It's no big deal, I didn't think anything would come of it anyhow." or "Hey, everybody's got dreams. Honestly, how many actually get to see them come true?"

And with that I will walk away from the conversation knowing that I was a schmuck who is running away from reality again. The only difference is that now I'm not running from my dream, I'm running from my dread. The dread of living with a dream unfulfilled. Can there be a harder thing to live with...I think not.

Here goes nothing (that's what I'll say on the outside)
Here goes everything (that's what I'll be thinking on the inside)

Here's to taking the road less travelled by...

Monday, July 04, 2005

create

Create…

Come on, stupid mind
Rouse yourself and write
Put your restless thoughts to rest
On this parchment of pure white
And make music of your musing.

Rise up, sitting soul
You’ve wasted away long enough
Fight to create and paint
The picture hanging in your heart
So all may enjoy its beauty.

What gives, dumb tongue
Your silence is no longer wise
Loose the speech of the underworld
Bring to light the inner life
That waits in the shadows for deliverance.

Wake up, sleepy songs
Rub your eyes and sing what you see
Make melody of mystery
Make harmony of history
And take us to the place we long to be.

Let’s dance, palsy pen
Press your lips against this paper
And inscribe a story for the ages
On these pages waiting to hold
The poetry of a mind fully alive.

Open wide, lazy eye
Stir the prophet inside
To speak the vision of eternity
Laden with triumph and tragedy
Inviting me to enter in.

Be gone, ripened reputation
Scared to seem silly
Fearful to feel foolish
Lay down cloaks of composure
And stand naked before a clothed world.

This may be your last chance…

Saturday, July 02, 2005

this is what is in my heart


Enough said. I picture paints a thousand words.