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Showing posts from November, 2015

When Heidi gets to speak at our church with me...

Heidi and I are speaking at Impact this weekend together, which is something we haven't done for a few years.  I love these times to do ministry together.  We used to lead worship together every week and when I became the lead pastor and handed off the worship ministry we lost that weekly team-ministry-feel.  We are still "in it" together, but not the same way as leading together in the same place for the same purpose.

I love listening to her share her thoughts and ideas and concerns and passions with others.  Since she doesn't share that often, people are even more interested in what she has to say that what I have to say.  People have developed ear fatigue in regards to my speaking, but her voice has weight simply because she isn't spouting off about what she thinks all the time.  I've heard so many people say to me already that they are looking forward to "hearing from Heidi".  They see her bustling around the church, hauling the kids around, fa…

Hauling wood with Tay...

Taylor and I took to the woods to claim the last stack of split wood, hauling it up to the house and stacking it in preparation for the long, cold winter ahead.She is my outdoorsy sidekick and doesn’t mind some honest toil even if it leads to a crushed pinky—they are battle scars that she takes pride in.
There’s something special about working together with your family to survive the winter.So many things are done for us these days.Food is grown for us that we purchase at grocery stores, heat is purchased from energy companies, running water is available at the turn of a nozzle…we just don’t think about where things come from and working the land or with our hands to provide for ourselves or simply survive certain seasons.So when you have to band together as a family to work for something that you need to live, it does something in you.
As I high-fived Tay when she put the last piece of split wood on the stack, I felt such a sense of accomplishment and contribution.She smiled and we …

A day with my boys...

Day with boys. "We're a team, but I'm the leader." - Caleb "Here goes nothing." - Joshua "Sharing is not as fun." - Caleb "Watch me, Dad! This is going to be good!" - Joshua "Dad, if I'm naughty are you gonna throw me in the woods?" - Caleb "I love you and and mom. You're my best friends." - Caleb "I found a great idea." - Joshua "Someday I'm gonna stand when I pee like you." - Caleb "Sorry, my bad!" - Joshua "Dad, pull up my butt...it's showing." - Caleb "Dad, I'm tired, Caleb needs a nap." - Joshua "When will I be big enough to be like you, Dad?" - Caleb "I'll try to obey if I can." - Caleb "When's mom getting home?" - Joshua "Just the boys is fun." - Caleb "Superman was adopted." - Joshua These cats crack me up! #DaddyDay

"Dad, what am I like when I'm with you?"

"Dad, what am I like when I'm with you?"

I was on a date night with Aly and in the course of our conversation she fired off this question.  It caught me off guard, to be honest.  What 14 year old musters up the competency, moreover, the courage to ask that kind of question?

I think we were in the middle of talking about she and her sister's friendship groups and how they interact differently.  She was talking about Tay and how her friends relate and interact.  I contributed my two cents on what I'd observed.  We talked about Kami and the nature of her friendships as the oldest sibling in our family. (she casually mentioned that sometimes she wishes she was the older sister so that she could feel more comfortable leading...that's a whole other wormhole in our conversation).  But eventually we landed on her friendships and what she feels about them.

She was in an observational mode of communication stating things she noticed in others and how they showed up i…

Making decisions...

Making big decisions really stinks sometimes.  This is what I've experienced that goes into a big decision before it's made that no one ever gets credit for.

1. Multiple conversations to look and relook at the same thing from different angles.
2. Daydreaming about the decision for incalculable hours while you're doing other things.
3. Waking up early and mulling over your motivations to make sure they're tethered to truth.
4. Thinking about the aftermath of the decision to weigh out the pros and cons.
5. Thinking about good protocol going into the decision to make sure you've vetted all the facts.
6. Second guessing your gut, your discernment, your intuitions.  Is my head screwed on straight?
7. Considering the people that will be hurt and/or helped by the decision.
8. Seeking God so that it's not just the best ideas of the human spirit, but also the Holy Spirit.
9. Losing precious time with your family as your mind is preoccupied with possible outcomes.
10. St…

Aly held my hand...

She reached over and grabbed my hand.

Every day I take my girls to school.  A different one sits in the front seat every morning (they have some kind of rotation of fairness nailed down just like any siblings would).  This morning is was Aly Grace's turn in the passenger's seat.

As I pulled out of the driveway I felt Aly's hand pull my right hand off the steering wheel and pull it over to her lap.  She then proceeded to hold my wrist with her right hand while she wedged the fingers of her left hand in between each of mine so that we could hold hands in an interdigitated fashion.  My arm was extended over the console and draped on her lap the whole 7 minute ride to school.  Those are some of my favorite 7 minute intervals in life.

Usually I'm the one initiating hugs, kisses, snuggling, and hand-holding.  I'm perfectly fine with that as I think it's my place to continue to pursue their hearts even when they give appearances that they aren't as interested.  B…

The voice of my father...

Yesterday I did something I don't think I've ever done.

I called my dad just to hear his voice.  I didn't have anything to talk about, I just wanted to hear the sound of his voice.

It was one of those days where I felt surrounded and hounded by the pressures of the present.  It was like I couldn't see anything beyond what was right in front of my face...I couldn't hear anything but noise in my head picking up reverb with every minute that passed.  I just felt a need to connect with my father.  His voice instead of my noise.  His familiar and familial sound instead of the ground and pound in the octagon of my office.  So I called.

The minute I heard him answer the phone, I knew why my heart needed to hear him speak.  I didn't need to hear him saying anything in particular, I just needed to listen to him talk.  I needed to be reminded of my beginnings.  I needed to connect with the place and person I came from, the foundations of my identity, the DNA I often forg…