Making decisions...

Making big decisions really stinks sometimes.  This is what I've experienced that goes into a big decision before it's made that no one ever gets credit for.

1. Multiple conversations to look and relook at the same thing from different angles.
2. Daydreaming about the decision for incalculable hours while you're doing other things.
3. Waking up early and mulling over your motivations to make sure they're tethered to truth.
4. Thinking about the aftermath of the decision to weigh out the pros and cons.
5. Thinking about good protocol going into the decision to make sure you've vetted all the facts.
6. Second guessing your gut, your discernment, your intuitions.  Is my head screwed on straight?
7. Considering the people that will be hurt and/or helped by the decision.
8. Seeking God so that it's not just the best ideas of the human spirit, but also the Holy Spirit.
9. Losing precious time with your family as your mind is preoccupied with possible outcomes.
10. Struggling for concentration in simple duties of your job that require creativity.
11. Surveying the lay of the land to see how the current culture is being affected negatively.
12. Gathering good data and cataloguing the ongoing drama surrounding the decision.
13. Knowing that doing nothing is not an option which forces you to make tough calls.
14. Fighting off the fear of making a big mistake that costs you dearly for months and years following the decision.
15. Confronting the situation and weathering the resistance without losing heart.
16. Getting great counsel from people who have been there before.
17. Having a funeral in your head for what will be lost...going through sadness and sorrow in my mind.
18. Talking to your spouse to see how this decision will affect your marriage and family, positively or negatively.
19. Taking the full range of emotions to God...whether it's sighing, yelling, questioning, whispering, or listening.
20. Finally getting the nerve up to pull the trigger and asking God to give you wisdom with whatever unfolds.

I love being in leadership and in ministry, but there are always decisions that cost someone something.  Some decisions are minimal, others are critical.  But as Jesus said, "Consider the cost before building the tower."  He was talking about not making decisions without weighing out the situation and what it will require.  The time, however long it may be, coming into making a big decision is filled with a consideration of costs and risks.

I just wanted to jot down some of my raw thoughts about making these sorts of decisions over the years.  Sometimes I forget the gauntlet it can be.


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