My Daughter, 13th Birthday, Purity Ring and a Daddy's Heart...
My Dearest Kami,
It hardly seems
possible that you are a teenager!
13 years old! A teenager...AHHHHHHHHH! Where did the time go? How did we get here so quickly? How did you become such a beautiful
young woman along the way?
I was thinking about
some things today that I wanted to tell you on your 13th birthday “just
so you know”. I can’t believe how
many dads don’t actually talk to their daughters about their feelings or their
dreams or their pride in their little feminine hearts. I hope I never turn into that dad. So in order to prevent that, I thought
I’d list some things that I love about you.
- I love how you look
at the bright side of things instead of dwelling on what is wrong with the
world. I know that most parents
aren’t blessed with a daughter that writes all over stuff, “I love my life!” This is a treasure.
- I love how you love
to snuggle morning, noon, or night.
You fold into my arms and wrap yourself around my body like a
blanket. You have always been this
way, soaking in that intimate time of connection with me like a co-dependant Kuala
bear.
- I love how active
you are and how you want to be in the middle of where the action is. You hate been left out of conversation
or decisions because God made you to be in the center of “life-changing”
moments adding your two cents to make the world a better place, to make the conversation
a better conversation, to make the story of life a better story.
- I love how much you
love little children and are especially geeked about having two little brothers
added to our family. I know that
you will take care of them with all your heart and pour yourself into their
little lives almost like a mother.
That is going to be awesome to watch you use your gift of compassion
through adoption.
- I love how passionate
you are about technology and connectivity with the world around you (though it
gets consuming and distracting at times).
I believe God made you to be connected and as you get older I hope you’ll
take that gift to help others get connected to God and not just pics and texts
and links and pinterest and instagram!
That is the most important connection you could help someone make.
- I love how
unabashedly feminine you are! I
love how you love wearing dresses and skirts and makeup. I love how you love to paint your nails
and priss up for school each day.
You are such a beautiful person with a beautiful soul and it shines
through your desire to be a truly feminine young woman. I see it how you
dance...the elegance, the tenderness, the strength.
- I love your heart
for God even though you are just beginning to learn how to live that out in
your world. Even the other night
when we were having a conversation about your relationship with Jesus and
seeing your tears of desire to be closer to him and hearing your comment on how
life gets worse when you don’t take time to spend with him and make him #1 in
your life...those tears were priceless.
This is probably what I love about you most and the thing I pray most
deeply stays throbbing inside your heart throughout your life.
______________________________________
Which brings me to the
next part of this 13th Birthday Letter...the part where I tell you
who you really are and my deepest prayer for your life going into the
future. Buckle up, this could be
deep, but it comes from the deepest place inside your Father’s Heart. It might not even make sense until you
get older.
#1 – Your mother and I
have prayed for you from the beginning that God would give you a strong
heart. Even more than a tender
heart, I have prayed for you to have the strength of a thousand warriors. You will continue to need strength to
fight off the evil and to fight for the good in this world and others around
you. I pray that your will rebel
against rebellion and love all that is love.
#2 – From the day you
were born, we knew that you were special, but not because of the physical
challenges you were faced with. We
knew that God wouldn’t have allowed you to have these physical attributes if he
hadn’t chosen to make you a “unique soul” to take those obstacles and turn them
into opportunities...opportunities to show everyone around you what it looks
like to live free and happy regardless of what life throws at you. You do that all the time...I don’t know
if you’re aware of that. I want you
to be known for that all your days.
#3 – As I give you
this ring today, I obviously want you to make a promise to your mother and I to
keep yourself pure for marriage by not having sex until after you’re married to
the husband God has prepared for you even now though you haven’t met yet. (By
the way, we are praying this for him as well.) But we are also making a promise
to you to pray for you diligently to have the strength to carry out that
promise when times of peer pressure from friends and the patterns of this world
whisper to you, “It’s not big deal…everyone’s
doing it.” I pray that you
will know immediately that this is a lie.
Remember Josh and Leslie’s wedding and Dave and Lindsey’s wedding and
how powerful those wedding were in comparison to others precisely because they
guarded their purity until their wedding night. Believe me when I say that you will never regret staying
sexually pure.
#4 – I hope purity
will not just mean not having sex until marriage. As we’ve talked recently, we hope you will have a pure heart
that is seen in how you talk to people and bless others with your life. We hope you will be pure in your
choices and that you won’t let lying, cheating, laziness, bitterness,
jealously, gossip and anger to darken your heart and make you selfish. Purity to me is a “selfless life”. A life lived for God and others instead
of self. We hope this purity just
pours out of you so much so that others witness your life and want to be like
you because you’re like Jesus.
#5 – You have asked
Jesus to come and live inside your heart by His Spirit. There is nothing that is more important
to your mother and I than that decision you’ve made. In some ways, you will
have to make that decision on some level everyday waking up and making Jesus #1
in your life. You are the “best
you” when you are obedient to God and surrendered to His desires for your
life. You are full of joy and
positivity and passion and freedom and compassion for the world. When you make life about you, you dry
up and become insecure and fearful and selfish. That is not who you
are. Deep in your heart you
are God’s daughter and when you live to make him proud he fills you with
pleasure...deep pleasure.
#6 – Lastly, I want
you to know that your mother and I are very proud of you...who you are, who you’ve
become and who you are becoming every day we see you grow into the woman God
had in mind when he formed you inside your mommy 13 years ago. I want you to know something...and you
have to stop and really read this with all your attention, ok? Your mom and I love you
unconditionally. What that means
is that no matter where you go, what you do, for better or worse, in good times
and in bad times, when life is going well and when life is falling apart...we
will always be here for you. We
will never leave you or let you go.
Even when you get marriage someday, we will let you leave us, but we
will not let you go from our hearts...you will always be our daughter and as
such, you will always have a special place in our home and hearts. And one other thing, if you ever grown
up and have a hard time, we will help you no matter where you are. And if anyone hurts you, I will drive
through the night, I will find you wherever you are, and I will rescue
you. You never have to wonder if
you are alone, because you will never be alone, we are going to be with you
your whole life no matter where you go.
You may not live in our home someday, but you will never stop living in our
heart. You are and will always be
our daughter. Ok?
________________________
So on your 13th
birthday, this glorious day, this special day...I hope you will feel deep in
your heart the presence of God, your heavenly Father who loves you even more
than we do, the presence of your grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins
who know you’re the first grandchild of the extended family and value you
beyond your imagination, the presence of your sisters who love you and look up
to you more than you could ever know, and the presence of your Daddy and Mommy
who cherish you as our firstborn gift from God. You are surrounded by so many people who love you and would
drop everything to do anything for you at a moment’s notice. Not many young women have that kind of
love to live in, protecting them and praying for them. You do.
Your mother and I love
you and celebrate your life today.
You bring us great joy (and laughter) and we’re praying that this purity
ring always reminds you of God’s love for you and our love for you every time
you look at it. You are
precious. You are beautiful. You are one-of-a kind.
But more than
anything, you are ours, and you always will be.
Happy Birthday, Kami! We love you. XOXOXOX
Daddy and Mommy
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