Sat. night service...

Well...the day has finally arrived. Tomorrow we launch our Sat. night service. I'm sort of in charge of coordinating the details of it and seeing to it that we have something with a little structure and a little substance. I will be speaking each Sat. night which is a change from what I've been accustomed to up here in the the grand ole state of Michigan. I'm looking forward to more Word-time...that fuels me.

This next series we are talking extensively about social issues such as poverty, the fatherless, disease, religiosity, racism, and just humanity in general and God's head over heals love for all those weighted down under these various oppressive burdens. I don't know the half of what it's like to live under these circumstances, so I need God to show me His heart for these people.

I'm nervous inside. Tonight we have a meeting with the core team who is helping get this new service off the ground. It's odd, I've been at this ministry thing for over 9 years now and I'm still as pit-stomached as I've ever been taking the lead in these types of things. I wonder sometimes if I'm in over my head. It's like everyone else sees me as this confident and articulate leader and inside I'm shivering like a leaf wondering what on earth I think I'm doing. But somehow, every time, or almost every time, God fills this earthen vessel and shows his all-surpassing power. But for now, I feel like I'm going to soil myself. Heart pounding. Stomach cinching. Brain racking.

This is what it feels like to be in the adventure. To go forward without the gaurantee of anything but God's presence. Somehow, I'm ok with that tonight. Here's to life with a pit in your stomach. I've given up expecting it to ever go away.