Loneliness (or Aloneness) is usually ranked as the top reason for suicide. The only thing worse than feeling alone, is feeling alone around a group of people.

Most people who attempt suicide report a rich fantasy around the event, a fantasy that includes being noticed after death by those who have ignored them, causing regret among those they feel have wronged them, and teaching a lesson to those who have harmed them. When people think of suicide they often feel that they will be able to watch what happens after their death.

The reason for this is that most people live in seclusion from others and crave the type of closeness that would bring about the kind of pursuit, affirmation and heart-felt friendship that is experienced at a viewing or a funeral.

What is it about a funeral that is appealing?
1. Everyone stops what they’re doing to talk about this person’s life story.
2. Everyone adjusts their busy schedule in order to attend.
3. People travel from far and near and gather for the purpose of honoring and remembering this person’s life.
4. It’s a time when everyone focuses on the best facets of this person’s heart.
5. You get to see how much people really cared about this person.

People are starving for friendship, companionship, partnership, and camaraderie.

C.S. Lewis quote – “Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life. If I had to give a piece of advice to a young man about a place to live, I think I should say, “sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near you friends.”

James 5:16 – “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed…”

Community is the cure for the human heart.

Every void, vacancy or vacuum inside my heart has been filled with friendship over the years. I have been made whole through friendship along the way that have healed hurts and filled emptiness....

I learned about computers and the military from Andy Falanga.
I learned how to play sports from Kenny Clifford.
I learned about construction and hunting from Art Jones.
I learned about adventure and risk from Buddy Rathmell.
I learned about faithfulness and commitment from my dad.
I learned how to pray from Jeff Reichadnater.
I learned how to play the guitar from Jerry Hines.
I learned about writing from Ryan Fry.
I learned how to cut hair from Jake the Barber.
I learned about stamina and endurance from Coach Jacobs.
I learned about how to interact with other races from Ted Boykin.
I learned about humility from Dan Dundore.
I learned how to cry from Dwight Peterson.
I learned about deep love and devotion from my wife, Heidi.
I learned about the power of reading books from Matt Fry.
I learned the power of memorizing Scripture from Dan Hayden.
I learned how to preach from Ken Rudolph.
I learned about world missions from Jeff Barrows.
I learned about brotherhood from my brother, Tim.
I’ve learned about volunteer EMT work from Layne See.
I’ve learned about giving sacrificially from Dave Gringhuis.
I’ve learned about the priority of purity from Marcus Burton.
I’ve learned about an engineers mind from Brian Kuieck.
I’ve learned about dreaming big from Ed Vance.

Wholeness can only be experienced through deep friendship. You will stay broken, empty and incomplete without the companionship of a kindred spirit to help you see things that alone you would be blind to, hear things that alone you would be deaf to, and feel things alone you would be numb to.

Hebrews 3:12 – “See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of your ay be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”

Suicide will happen without friendship. You will either kill yourself physically, emotionally, or spiritually, but make no mistake, you will die somehow.


DanielSon said…
Your last mini-paragraph is so very true. I like where you listed who has taught you what, very insightful as you usually are.
Ryan Kyes said…
I read through and you forgot that you learned to take spankins in hoops from yours truly. That's true when you think about it suicide can happen at several levels, now many may not take the plunge to put them 6 feet under but I think they may take it with their marriage, job, or even in parenting where they just check out. They may be going through the motions but Elvis has definitely left the building.

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