6 days spent in 4 hours...

6 days to create a deep reservoir of energy and strength.

4 hours for it to leak out onto the ground.

6 days to get away and mend.

4 hours to get back and rend.

6 days to read and take in the beauty of life.

4 hours to work and take in the tragedy of life.

I can't believe how my first day back from vacation has affected me. You look for signs of life, but all around you see "dropping flies", "crashing and burning". I'm sure it's not as bad as I think it is, it's probably worse. Ha. (It's funny, I started that last sentence fully intending to say something optimistic and promising but as it emerged, I realized that I don't know the half of the depravity in the world in which I live). Humanity is injured serverly. People are going down by the droves. Marriages are crumbling at a whole-sale rate. Friendships are collapsing. Churches are falling apart. Poor people are getting poorer. Rich people have never been wealthier. Trust is diminishing. Hope is fading.

And yet, under all that debris there is the faint whisper of redemption. We are groaning for it, it is moaning to us. We are dying for it and yet running from it all at the same time. Pressure, fear, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive triggers, destructive defaults, rage, powerlessness, addictions...these crash in around us and well up within us constricting and suffocating us to death. But redemption is hovering just above the fray. Brooding. Breathing. I can feel it even in the darkness of this moment.

On top of the pile that was already forming on top of my heart, Heidi lost a cleaning job today. She lost her other cleaning job earlier this month. That's alot of money in our budget that has suddenly vanished. Hmmm. I'm not sure what else to say. Hmmm.

I feel a strength to lead in this place of desperation, but it sure isn't my own. It's an alien strength from without offered to those who are lost for words and out of answers. I can only pray that strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord to shine down and reveal the purpose of this dreary day.


braden said…
some may trust in horses some may trust in chariots but we will trust in the name of the Lord our God
. . . whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies . . . 1 Peter 4:11 (NET)

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