contentment...

What in the hank is contentment anyways? I've been wondering whether I will ever feel that. We are in a world that either is lazy or driven, passive or obsessive...so it's difficult to know when one starts and one stops. I want to be excellent at what I do, but I also know there has to be a boundary set in place to keep you from being OCD and not being able to stop achieving, accomplishing, accumulating. When do you just come to the point where you say, "Enough is enough"...instead of always feeling like "Enough is never enough". When I say, "Enough"...for some reason I feel like I'm settling, quiting. When I say, "I can do more or be more" if feel consumed with my need to grow, expand, stretch, excel, ascend. I know, balance. That cursed word seems to be the answer to all quandries. But for some reason, it doesn't do much to calm my restless spirit.

I want to be the best...and yet I want to be ok with not being the best. I want to know more, and yet I want to be just fine with not knowing everything. I want to be accomplished in my areas of expertise, but I don't want that to be the end all, the finish line, the ultimate priority. I want to influence people, but I don't want to be non-stop in my efforts to meet this person, help that person, attend that event, speak at that conference, set up another early morning coffee or lunch with someone, pencil in another counseling appointment in the evening, write another email, make another phone call, post another blog, create another song, start another ministry...etc. When do you just come to the place where you are content with who you are without becoming complacent?

That's the questions that's been bouncing around in my brain.

I want to be content...and yet I want to press on. (both phrases Paul uttered in his pursuit of God)

I'm all ears...