II Corinthians 7:5
"This body of ours had no rest. We were harassed at every turn--conflicts on the outside, fears within."

"This body of ours had no rest...."
Wow! That is were it begins...the restlessness of the Christian many times starts with "lessrestness". Our minds are preoccupied, our schedules are crammed, our hearts are congested with dreams of what could be but is not, our souls are dry pieces of God-sod....and we are exhausted!! No rest is where things can get crass and business-like. Our walk with God is more like communism than communion. Our bodies are wasted and our quality of life is subject to question. We are existing...but that is about the extent of it. No rest catches up to you once the adrenaline wears off and the rush of what you were working toward fades into the past. You are left in a heap of hurt and people are passing you like you are standing still...oh, wait...you are!

"We were harassed at every turn..."
Once your body lacks rests...your outlook on life is skewed. You start dreading life instead of drinking life. You see what you believe rather than believing what you see. "Harassing" is a good word for the feeling...you feel played with and toyed with like a caught mouse who has become the entertainment of the victorious cat before he is devoured never to return. "At every turn"...yes, again a perfect decription by Paul of the feeling of being overwhelmed with the impossibility of escape at times. No matter where you go, you start adopting the attitude: "Something is going to go wrong, I just know it!" You feel weary of life and now your starting to feel leary of life...you feel like you are being taken over.

"Conflicts on the outside..."
I don't even have to elaborate on this phrase lest I insult your intelligence. Let's just say that you can't go anywhere without facing one conflict or another. It becomes a reality that compounded with fatigue and frustration can take you down for the count.

"Fears within."
This is where it culminates into paralysis. You becomes frozen in fear internally and all your spiritually energy is to keep yourself from falling apart. You fear everything:
1. What do they think of me?
2. Can I do it satisfactorily?
3. Who am I disappointing?
4. Why can't I measure up?
5. Why am I not getting it?
6. Am I missing out on something?
7. What am I going to do with my life?
8. I wonder if I will ever find someone to marry?
9. Does God really exist?
10. Why am I so messed up?

The list goes on and on...but who needs me to dredge up the repressed terror of the heart? I guess I just like verses like this that speak to the heart of what I face without pulling any punches. It's real and it effects each one of us at one time or another. I wonder if this verse happens in anyone elses life out there?


BeththeBlue said…
I believe I found your blog through Kate McDonald's, who I'm doing Engage the Journey with. I don't know you at all. But I like reading what you have to say. I'm glad you wrote this. For the last several weeks I have been extremely physically exhausted, sleeping very much. I asked the Lord about it one day, fearing sickness, laziness, or that perhaps I was creating a pattern of tiredness by sleeping too much. He answered me very simply with just a few simple words: "weary from doing good." Now, I had just read Paul earlier that morning myself and had read where Paul wrote to not become weary in doing good. So asked the Lord after that response, 'what, then?' He replied, "Necessary." And that was it. I was thinking about it today after I awoke from another nap tired again, and realized that I think my spirit has worn my body down. So much striving and thinking and pushing and restlessness in my inner man has taken its toll on my physical man. It's a bit of a sad lesson to be learning to me, but He's teaching me to take it easy. It was good to read those scriptures you wrote, I don't think I've noticed those before. So, all of this to say, I currently understand in my own walk to a degree what you write of. Thanks for sharing.
Amy said…
This is EXACTLY how I feel. No sleep for probably weeks now. I just lay there, body tired, but my mind won't turn off. Never ever feeling "rested". Finally someone put into words how I'm feeling! Satan is loving how weak I am so he can attack me with questions like those until the wee hours of the morning! I hope you do get rest with your family and a little vaca time over the holidays.
No doubt that this happens in any life that is lived with purpose and meaning. Apathy is the antonym to each of the points that Paul has written here and so apathy would be the only means to avoid them. This verse speaks of the expectations we must take on while actively pursuing a purposeful life, a life well lived, a light in darkness, a truth among lies. To feel these things is proof that we are fighting the good fight. We must find time to rest our mind and body as a means to refuel, replenish, revitalize, revamp, recover, and reload. The danger and vulnerability comes when we camp out in that place of rest for other purposes. Paul's words are bleak and not very appealing but the two words that follow in verse 6 speak to the hope I personally must hold to while fighting amidst the exhaustion, harassments, conflicts, and fears. Knowing how you live your life I am sure the frequency of this is overwhelming…“BUT GOD” bro!
calebroberts said…
Jason, oh, Jason. I was looking through my pictures from Germany and i came across your beautiful family. it was a few years ago that i visited. i saw the antiquated images of your children, who have doubtless undergone innumerable changes in the intervening years. but you, i just sat and stared. I love you, and time is a testament thereto. it's been a long time, and i long to see you. this entry, especially, speaks to my heart right now. i will email you or call you soon.

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