language...
It's not a secret...I love words. Some would even say I have an unhealthy preoccupation with them. I love to go to Barnes and Noble to just look up words. I own a book called "Word Smart"...823 words anyone who claims to be human should know. I read it religiously before I go to bed at night. I love synonyms the best...better ways of saying the same ol' things.
Just recently I stumbled across a word that I love. Feckless. It means useless. It has immediately become a part of my vocabulary (and usually a new word takes some repetition). This one locked in almost the moment I came across it. I think the reason why it plants into my mind so quickly is because it is a word that I hope is never uttered when someone describes my small and short life.
I came from a small town. I went to a small church. I went to a small Christian school. I have a humble beginning and I hope to have a humble ending. But one thing that I don't want to be small is my influence. I wake every morning dreaming of changing the world...the whole thing. I wonder if God is preparing me for something huge...something that would make me soil my undergarments if I could but catch a glimpse of it. I dream about being a part of something great. My ambition is boundless. It is reckless.
Reckless...
Feckless...
I hope God is reading this right now...
God, I want to split open with a pining that wearies me. I want to press on to take hold of that for which you took hold of me. I want to stretch out for the prize of the high calling. I want to have an uncontrollable and uncontainable and unquenchable passion that burns hot and bright. I want never lose my imagination...to dream dreams as big as you are. To fix my eyes on what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. To consider my life worth nothing to me if only I may complete the task of testifying to the gospel of Your grace. These things have always driven me on...may they drive me still. God, listen to me, I don't want to be feckless...it scares me to even think about that possibility. Take my life and unleash yourself through every fiber of my being. I place myself at your disposal. I love every minute of loving you. Animate me.
Just recently I stumbled across a word that I love. Feckless. It means useless. It has immediately become a part of my vocabulary (and usually a new word takes some repetition). This one locked in almost the moment I came across it. I think the reason why it plants into my mind so quickly is because it is a word that I hope is never uttered when someone describes my small and short life.
I came from a small town. I went to a small church. I went to a small Christian school. I have a humble beginning and I hope to have a humble ending. But one thing that I don't want to be small is my influence. I wake every morning dreaming of changing the world...the whole thing. I wonder if God is preparing me for something huge...something that would make me soil my undergarments if I could but catch a glimpse of it. I dream about being a part of something great. My ambition is boundless. It is reckless.
Reckless...
Feckless...
I hope God is reading this right now...
God, I want to split open with a pining that wearies me. I want to press on to take hold of that for which you took hold of me. I want to stretch out for the prize of the high calling. I want to have an uncontrollable and uncontainable and unquenchable passion that burns hot and bright. I want never lose my imagination...to dream dreams as big as you are. To fix my eyes on what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. To consider my life worth nothing to me if only I may complete the task of testifying to the gospel of Your grace. These things have always driven me on...may they drive me still. God, listen to me, I don't want to be feckless...it scares me to even think about that possibility. Take my life and unleash yourself through every fiber of my being. I place myself at your disposal. I love every minute of loving you. Animate me.
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