My good friend, Soul.
Not sure what to say this morning. I'm tired and lost for words and the emotion to carry them to the next level.
I think I've just given and given and given lately and now I'm givin' out! Not givin' up, just givin' out. It's funny how output catches up to you without input. It's crazy how uploading starts to crash me if it isn't accompanied with good downloading.
My sleep patterns have been all whacked out for some reason, and that doesn't help. Is there a diagnosis for "Restless body syndrome"? I wish it were only my legs.
I felt myself getting angry yesterday at life. This shows me that I'm striving and straining, instead of relaxing and resting. My wick gets shorter and shorter with every big push, every sacrificial "extra mile" I ask my soul to make without replenishment.
My soul has always been good to me, though I don't think I've returned the favor. It's always pouring out and putting out regardless of my reciprocation. I take advantage of my soul, though. It turns the other cheek all the time, taking one for the team and biting its tongue. I can sense when my soul is getting neglected because even things that should bring me joy, don't. It's like I can cognitively recognize their joyous value, but emotionally I stand estranged from the reality of it. I'm beside myself, literally.
I'm hoping that the remainder of this day will take a turn toward refreshment of some sort. I feel like more than not, lately, life feels like turning into a sun with a dusty windshield. My soul needs to rest and be tended to.
Like the Psalmist said in Psalm 130 or 131, "Like a weaned child is my soul within me." How I long to say that soon.