Standing before the Judgement Seat of Christ (not the Great White Throne, but the Bema Seat, thank God) I wonder what I will have to say to the likes of the holy God. Part of me thinks I'll just cower in shame, other parts of me think that I'll just look at Jesus and say, "Talk to him, He said he took care of that stuff." Other parts of me will hope to be able to explain how I overcame pesky problems that could have taken me out without his Spirit's power.
Here's what I hope I can say on that day:
1. I wanted to quit sometimes, but I didn't.
2. I wanted to give into temptation, but I didn't.
3. I wanted to get bitter at people, but I didn't.
4. I wanted to get mine and blow everyone else off, but I didn't.
5. I wanted to curse God at times, but I didn't.
6. I wanted to leave the ministry on certain days, but I didn't.
7. I wanted to give into lust and forget purity sometimes, but I didn't.
8. I wanted to go passive in my marriage and get stale, but I didn't.
9. I wanted to check out after work and blow off my daughters, but I didn't.
10. I wanted to get comfortable in church avoiding the world, but I didn't.
11. I wanted to make money and take it easy with my life, but I didn't.
12. I wanted to get back at some people that hurt me, but I didn't.
13. I wanted to withhold forgiveness for wrongs done to me, but I didn't.
14. I wanted to just let fear and anxiety cripple my quality of life, but I didn't.
15. I wanted to sleep in and waste my life as a slacker, but I didn't.
16. I wanted to watch television every night for 4 hours, but I didn't.
17. I wanted to just make church a Sunday morning thing, I I didn't.
18. I wanted to live an isolated life to protect my heart from people, but I didn't
19. I wanted to chuck all the Christian virtues and just live hog wild some days, but I didn't.
20. I wanted to live as though God, the judgement seat, and the afterlife weren't real, but I didn't.
"And there's only one reason I didn't, and it's you, Jesus. You were my compelling obsession. You were my pride and joy. You were my life by faith and you were my faith in life. I didn't waste my life and you're the only reason. You."
That's what I want to stand before Jesus and say to him on my day of judgement.
Now i have to live in such a way that I can because as it says in John, "this is how we have confidence on the day of judgement, because in this world we were like him." I want to be like him. So badly do I want to be like him...now...here...me.