old journal entries 2003 A.D. ...
Once again, out of the mouth of babes God continues to woo my heart and allure me back to his. My daughter is teeming with thoughts that draw me closer to my God and I’m ever grateful for her contribution to my soul’s journey for intimacy with my Creator.
After youth group two weeks ago, I was sitting on the couch with Kami just snuggling before we laid her down for the night. I was coming down from the adrenaline rush of Calstumi and my body was taxed and worn. As I started checking out, something in my spirit whispered to me from within and invited me to tell my daughter that I would protect her and that I would do my best to not let anything or anyone hurt her. I tried to emphasize my passion to be her guardian and as I did, she turned and gazed into my eyes.
After I finished talking, there was a pause followed by her little voice asking a question that pounds in the feminine heart. “Dad, if someone tried to hurt me, would you kill them?” I couldn’t have been more caught off guard…I was beside myself. Did she just say what I thought she said? I gathered myself, and pulled her close to my chest. I looked her in the eye and said without hesitation, “Oh yes, yes I would!” She smiled and gave me a kiss. Then she went on a little conversational rabbit trail. “Dad, if a monster tried to hurt me, would you kill it?” I responded with a stern, “You betcha’!”
It was so appropriate since I was just reading a passage in Nehemiah that said, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” It got me to thinking how vicious I am in my fight for my brothers and sisters in Christ. Is their freedom my greatest prize? Do I watch their back, supply their needs, encourage their weakness? It just struck me how much I need to fight along side each of you in this ferocious battle that is waged over our affection… and by God’s grace I will fight like a warrior poet.